Posts Tagged ‘reviews’
Jan
Two books and some randomness
by Kaia in 2010
I meant to write a post and run away, but somehow got sucked into my pages section and… got stuck. For about two hours. Um. What was I going to say again? Oh yes, a few hardly important things, but I suppose after the last few days of marathon posts something short and vague will be a nice change.
First, I bought jeans leggings today. I never in my life would have, but my sister wore them on her ridiculously skinny legs over Christmas, and I got used to the idea. Basically, they’re made up to look like skinny jeans, but there is an ELASTIC WAISTBAND, which is a deity-of-your-choice-sent for people like me, who carry all their weight in their hip area, which means that normal sizing is not your friend.
Oddly, I found them at H&M. Their plus size section may be two racks and three shelves, shuffled into the far back corner, but there was actually three pairs of these contraptions in this small space, one pair which was my size. My Mum tried to tell me they “sat too low” but I am – despite my size – not ready to wear mum style trousers just yet, thank you.
Before we went I put on make-up – foundation, eyeliner, eye shadow and mascara – and felt so damn good about myself that I bought some more eye shadow. One brown and grown up, one crazy blueish green for when I want to look like I am sixteen and emo. (When I was emo I only wore black, but maybe times change, or something.)
Oddly, I also feel the urge to Do Something About My Eyebrows. Is this a sign of my mental state improving? It feels like it!
Then we had to go home because there were so many people and I could feel my anxiety rising. I tried to explain, on the ride home, how I love my family dearly, but with seeing them so very often I have no spoons left for meeting friends and such. I know they are just worried that I’m lonely, and are trying to be supportive rather than suffocating, but um, it’s having the opposite effect.
So instead of going home and having coffee and longwinded conversations about nothing with my parents I asked Mum to drop me off by my flat and I cuddled with kitten and finished two books. Well, I finished one and decided that the other bored me too much to finish – I only had fifty pages or so to go, but it’s non-fiction, so I’m giving myself a pass.

It’s in Swedish, titled I Trygghetsnarkomanernas Land, by David Eberhard. Parts of it was interesting actually, but some was booooring and very full of conservative politics, blaming our former, left wing government for most about the panic the book is about. Because it is about how we are so afraid of everything, how the mentality of our society is pretty much that of a person crippled by social anxiety of the worst kind. It goes through the statistics of awful things happen; it states several times that “the mortality rate of a human being is 100%”, which, you know, is true. Note that it doesn’t actually advocate that you should do these things, it just tells you the risks or chances, if you will.
* It speaks of the idiocy of pregnant women going off antidepressants, because the risk of the baby having difficulty breathing directly after being born going up from 2 to 6-12 cases in 10,000. One would think that the mother being mentally unstable and contemplating suicide being worse for the baby than a condition which usually can be remedied without problems; almost every single child this happens to survives without any physical damage whatsoever.
* It speaks of a Swedish TV-programme (Kalla Fakta) who let a nursing mother drink two glasses of wine, and then express the milk so they could analyse it. The alcohol in the milk after this? Less than what you can find in a carbonated beverage of your choice.
* It states that the chance of dying of the bird flu (the book is old, so it doesn’t talk about swine flu) is 1 in 60 million.
* It shows that the chance of dying in a plane crash if you travel by plane every single day is 1 in 20,000 years.
* It speaks about smoking and the chances of getting lung cancer; it’s roughly 3 in 10,000 people. It also speaks of heart diseases, which smoking is said to cause, and points out that the rate of this illness is lower in countries were over 50% of the population are smokers.
Very interesting reading, if you have the patience to sift through the right wing politics that’s all over the place, despite the author claiming to be politically unbiased.

The other book, though, was absolutely amazing. It’s called What I Was, written by Meg Rosoff, and I now want to read everything she has ever written. It’s very, very British, takes place in some dreary, grey near-the-coast town in 1962. The protagonist – it’s first person, so you never learn his name – is stuck in a private school (public school, the Brits call it, crazy people that they are), one that isn’t famous for great students or even amazing results, but as he’s been kicked out of two schools already this will have to do.
He’s rather indifferent until he meets a boy living in a hut nearby, at which point he suddenly wants to do well enough to be kept in this school, after not giving a damn about the two before. The best thing about this book is that it does NOT go where you expect it to. Rather the opposite, actually, which is always nice to see in a book.
I love the language (very British, very dry, and never shies away from letting the protagonist sound like and act like a total moron), I love the history baked in, and I absolutely adore the setting; it feels very real, with the boring town, the grey weather, the freezing ocean and everything.
I am very fascinated by this book. It’s on the short side, with tiny chapters, and is very economical with words. That is something I’m learning just how hard it is – it’s easy to spend hundreds of words on a description when a single sentence could work just as well, and probably provide a bit of ambigiouity (which I cannot spell to save my life!), which often makes for a better story.
Of course, it’s much, much harder to write this way, which is part of why I love this book so much. It must’ve been absolute hell to write, but it makes for gorgeous prose.
The first two chapters (no more than 1200 words total) can be read at Meg Rosoff’s webpage. Check them out here, and then go buy her books! I know I’m going to hunt the other ones down now…
And now that I have informed the world of these two books I must make popcorn and sit down to do some editing, and of course, play with my new shiny ipod. And NOT sleep as I accidentally napped for three hours today.
Dec
Deerskin
by Kaia in 2009

(I have a different cover, as seen here, but I love this one more!)
Book 48 on my list for the last six months (only two more to go!) is Deerskin by Robin McKinley. My Australian book fairy sent it to me, as she tends to pick up books that she thinks I would like, or that are relevant to my current writing, and sends them to me in various parcels at outrageous postage costs.
This one was relevant to Eld, which I’ve been writing on for a bit over a year, although possibly not as much as Tender Morsels, which I read this past summer. What the two books have in common is that they are based on fairytales, although reworked and twisted and turned amazing and awful and everything inbetween. As somebody who grew up on Astrid Lindgren tales, I absolutely love fairytales, and enjoyed both these books immensely.
This one is about the daughter of the most beautiful woman in seven kingdoms, princess Lissla Lissar. Or is it Lissar Lissla? No matter, she goes by Lissar for the most part.
The book starts out slow, telling the whole story of how her parents met and how they are so splendid that nobody cares to look twice in Lissar’s direction. Even her nurse maid is enarmoured by her beautiful mother, and when she dies – the reason is rumoured to be an illness that made her less pretty, which is so not acceptable – everyone is grieving her, nobody realising that Lissar has lost her mother.
A prince in a kingdom far, far away sends her a puppy from his best dog to help her through this time (in fact, the only person acknowledging her loss), and while the kingdom mourns Lissar raises the puppy, named Ash, to a loyal, intelligent and of course beautiful dog. They play and she takes an interest in gardening, and things almost seem turn for the better. That is, until her father realises that Lissar, as she grows older, is starting to resemble her mother more and more. In the end Lissar is forced to run from his madness and violence, so traumatised by the ordeal that she has forgotten nearly everything. Indeed, for a good portion of the book she doesn’t even remember her name.
The amnesia is written beautifully; it can’t be an easy thing to write, but McKinley does so in a way that is both agonising and amazing and spot on, and the language she uses for it is very dreamy and yet direct. It’s a beautiful book, in all, and I do want to read more of her stuff. A small snippet of the vagueness:
It was slipping away even as she spoke; she could no longer remember what it was about, only that it had been horrible. The horror welled up again, but no images accompanied it; just blank, unthinking terror and revulsion. She shuddered with the strength of it, and put out a hand to seize a stick of wood, felt the dull prick of its bark against her palm gratefully. She tossed it into the fire and thrust her face so near that her eyes wept with the heat.
Ash sat down again and snuggled up against Lissar’s back, with her head on her shoulder, as she had done before the hearth in their old… “No!” said Lissar. “Whatever it is – it is over with. Ash and I have escaped, and are free.” Her words sounded hollow, but the defiance in them drove the horror back a few paces, and she lay down again and fell into sleep.
It was daylight for a while, and then dark, and then daylight again. And then Lissar began to recognise that she was waking up for good…
In all, it’s a good lesson in the school of “you don’t have to spell everything out, your readers aren’t stupid”. Which is something I need to become better at; trusting that the story carries itself and all that.
Not that I have any readers. Yet.
Nov
Fat acceptance in books
by Kaia in 2009
And now, as promised, I’d like to talk about something else entirely, which I’m sure most of you are happy about (sorry, I’m only this word count obsessed one month out of the year). Over the last few weeks I’ve been reading books of a very specific topic, which is about being fat/overweight/heavy/pick-word-of-your-choice. And that in itself has made me realise (once again!) how fucking obsessed by weight and appearance our society is. Because, okay. I weave. This means I at least once a week have to sit through half an hour of gossiping with the older generation. I’d say the average age in this group is around 70. Some are up towards 85, one is as young as 50-something-odd-years. And you’d think that by that age you would be sure with yourself and stop judging each other by what we eat and when we eat it.
Sadly this is not the case.
Yesterday I came home seething because one of the old ladies had brought the very Swedish baked goods rulltårta. It’s basically a sponge cake, baked in a huge pan so it’s only half an inch or so thick. You spread jam or cream or something on it, roll it up and cut in one inch pieces, getting a ton of thin spiral slices.
I hate rulltårta with a passion. I don’t even know why. Maybe it’s the jam. I’m very particular about jam. I only like blueberry or raspberry jam, and there cannot be any pieces of fruit in it. I don’t particularly like sponge cake either, and could have it or leave it any day of the week. So, when it was served up I politely declined, to which the following conversation happened. And I don’t remember who said what, but there were about eight of us there and they were ALL talking to me at this point, so assume that this isn’t the same person speaking…
“No, thanks, I’m good.”
“There’s no gluten in sponge cake!”
“Oh, of course not, don’t be silly.”
(Um. None of these people apparently know that there is gluten in FLOUR, but as I’m to keep eating it until I’ve done the scary test so it won’t come back negative I let this one slide.)
“Are you sure you don’t want one?”
“Just a little one!”
“No, thanks.”
“Oh, you are so strong!”
“I wish I was that strong.”
“Maybe I don’t want one after all.”
“Maybe we should all put ours back and be as STRONG as Kaia.”
“Are you sure you don’t want one?”
“Yes, I’m sure, thanks.”
It’s so utterly depressing to me that 70-year-old ladies waste their time on this sort of crap. Are we never going to get too old for this? I guess not. It makes me really sad, actually, so I’d like to spend some time writing about the three books I’ve read over the last few weeks, because there needs to be more books like these out there. Because we need to remember that not looking like people do on TV (which, incidentally, only 2% of all women can match without starving themselves half to death, and I’m not knocking those who can, let’s be clear on that) is not a death sentence. And if somebody don’t want a damn cookie it (hopefully) have nothing to do with her inner demons, and all to do with that she doesn’t feel like eating that cookie right then.
Okay, so that is very rarely the case, because we’ve been conditioned to fat shaming, but one can hope, right?

The first book is non-fiction. It’s Lessons From the Fat-O-Sphere: Quit Dieting and Declare a Truce With Your Body, in which Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby, who both run amazing blogs (here and here), debunk some of the most common misconceptions about weight, dieting, and everything that comes with it. Most of the book is written by the two of them, but they have brought in a few contributors with various short pieces, some about stuff like being a fit model (that is, being a perfect size 18 and have clothes sewn to fit you exactly, so that the clothing companies know what a size 18 actually look like), and others with more directly motivational pieces.
In short, there are a lot of good tips in this book, a lot of addresses to websites, a lot of stuff resources, although sadly the clothing stores section I cannot use as I am not in the U.S. I underlined stuff on almost every page (yes, Jenn, I so did), and it’s really hard to find a piece that is short enough to quote here without seriously violating copyright while making you GO OUT THERE and buy your own copy, so let me just say that my favourite bit is the one by Lesley Kinsel, who runs the blog Fatshionista, not to be confused with the LJ community Fatshionista (I’m not sure how on earth they ended up with the same name, but there you go) where she speaks about that thing so many women does – buying clothes too small to “motivate” themselves to lose weight.
In this piece she points out that “… it’s not my body’s responsibility to fit into some frilly container, arbitrarily shaped by someone who doesn’t even know me. It’s not my body’s fault a size 20 won’t fit, it’s the size 20’s fault …” and goes on to speak about how buying a too small dress to guilt yourself into losing weight is awful on so many levels because it assumes that your fat body isn’t worth wearing beautiful clothing. It’s not exactly rocket science, and really, so very obvious, but it’s still amazing to hear it put that simply.
Because come on, how many of us think that fat acceptance is okay for OTHERS, and that we will totally get on that, once we lose twenty pounds? I know I did. Still do, sometimes. And believe me, Kate and Marianne talks sternly to their readers about that, while admitting to themselves that they do still think that from time to time. Because they are not superwomen. They’re human. And that makes this book go from preachy to amazing. At least in my opinion.

Big Fat Manifesto by Susan Vaught is fiction and YA, I think. The main character is seventeen year old Jamie Carcaterra, who is fat. She does drama, writes for the school paper and is active and outgoing and oh, has a boyfriend. In all, she’s nothing like the cliché of a fat person (which is sad, I mean, that we have a stereotype for these people).
It all starts when Jamie starts writing a column for the school paper named Fat Girl. In it she writes about what it’s like to be fat, how difficult it is to find clothing, how she fights against stereotypes and feel the need to be upfront about these things so that people can see what it’s really like.
In one of the first chapters Jamie’s boyfriend Burke decided to undergo gastric by-pass surgery. Jamie doesn’t like it, is convinced that he will die and has a very hard time getting to terms with it when he goes through with it anyway. I really like how Vaught illustrates all the things you don’t get from glossy brochures or five minutes segments on TV, stuff like how big his stomach will be afterwards (the size of a thumb), what the effects of eating a brownie is (nothing you want to remember) and most of all, how he still WANTS the damn food even though he shouldn’t be hungry.
Also, the contrasts between the two of of them is kind of chilling. See, both Jamie and Burke are big, but while he can eat five or six brownies in a sitting and Jamie has a BOX of chocolate bars in her locker to give to him throughout the month, Jamie never eats in front of people. The only exception is in her own home, and even then, if her friends are with her, she’ll only have one bowl even though she hasn’t eaten all day and is really hungry for a lot more. And then he goes on to have an elective surgery because his parents have money, while Jamie’s parents have to research whether their health insurance would even cover such a thing, APOLOGISING to her all the while that they can’t afford to pay out of pocket. Of course, Jamie is against this procedure, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t thought about it, like every fat person out there.
I really like the minor characters as well, most notably Jamie’s friends, Freddie and NoNo, although the (former) vegan in me is a bit frowny about the stereotype painted of veganism in NoNo, who quite seriously tells her friends that if research comes out to show that plants feel pain when you eat them she’ll just start eating nuts and seeds and fruit that has fallen from trees. She’s, of course, also bone thin. I know it’s for comic relief, but it really grates on you to see these stereotypes, because they’re far from true. I know plenty of vegans and vegetarians that are quite healthy, thank you, and in a book that is all about breaking out of the stereotype for fat people, we are instead served THIS stereotype?
It didn’t sit so well with me, but the rest of the book is brilliant.

Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie is a book I’ve been recommended countless times, so finally I bought it and put it in my to-read-shelf for forever. I really enjoy Jenny’s blog Argh Ink, in which she writes about writing, gives tips about writing and in all, is a lot more meta than most people out there. For example she posted a chapter from a work in progress and asked her readers to tell her what works/what does not work. My favourite post, though is the one about the Don’t Look Down Theory of Writing.
Back to the book.
Bet Me is the story about Minverva Dobbs, who has spent her whole life being utterly practical, extremely ashamed of her weight and refusing to eat carbs. Or trying to refuse them. In the first chapter she’s dumped by a guy she doesn’t like anyway, is about to be the (fat) maid of honour at her (thin) sister’s wedding and a bet is placed, leading to the ridiculously handsome Calvin Morrisey (or is it Morissey?) asking her out.
And, okay, a lot of this book is standard romance novel speak, but what makes it amazing is the way her weight is woven into it. Because Min has to learn not only to eat doughnuts (by the end of the book I wanted to scream OMG THERE ARE MILLIONS OF COOKIES THAT TASTE BETTER), but also that using butter and/or olive oil when you cook is sometimes necessary, that dredging chicken in flour before you cook it isn’t just “to add carbs”, and so on. It’s very powerful, the way she has to learn that eating is necessary and you are not a bad person for requiring food to survive, and more than that, how Cal actually doesn’t see the fat girl shoving food down her throat when he looks at her, he sees, well, a woman who truly enjoys food and if she could only freaking EAT IT she would be feeling so much better about herself.
I’m going to quote the part that actually had me tearing up, because, well, you’ll see. If you sit down and read all of it.
“Rehearsal dinner dress?” Min said. “Why –”
“I found something for you that will be slimming.” Nanette shook her head at her eldest daughter, the disappointment. “Make sure the hem is in the right place. If it cuts at your knees your legs will look like fence posts.”
“Thank you, Mother,” Min said, figuring this was a fight she didn’t care about. She just felt tired.
Her mother stopped and met her eyes. “I know you think I’m awful. But I know how this world works. And it’s not kind to fat people, Min. It’s especially not kind to fat women. I want to see you happy and safe, married to a good man, and it’s not going to happen if you don’t lose that weight.”
“She’s not fat,” Diana said from behind her. “She is NOT FAT.”
“Not your loud voice,” Nanette said, and Diana glared at her.
“Screw my loud voice, stop telling her she’s fat.” Diana stopped, looking as surprised as Nanette and Min that she’d said it. She went on, in a calmer voice. “Leave her alone.”
Nanette shook her head and went forward to grip Min by the upper arms. “I just want you to be happy,” she said, and then stopped and squeezed Min’s arms again. “Have you been lifting those weights the way I told you? Because if your arms aren’t toned, those chiffon sleeves –”
In all, this book had me laughing a lot, being ridiculously pleased that I’m not the only person abusing the italics function to show people being upset and more than that? It made me want to make some kick arse curry. So I think I will.
Nov
In which ‘Dairy Queen’ gets a whole new meaning
by Kaia in 2009
No NaNo content today. None. That must make some of my readers happy, I’m sure.
So, I want to write about Dairy Queen by Catherine Gilbert Murdock, which is this amazing book that My Australian Book Fairy sent to me, and that I put in my shelf for weeks (or possibly months) before reading it, mostly because it’s about American football and that is the stupidest sport on earth, save baseball. Or so I thought.
I am Swedish, and here the big sports are football (European style), ice hockey and handball. There is softball, but it’s not common and members of the extremely few American football teams are basically scoffed at because, you know, this isn’t the United States. Possibly that’s just in the very small town I’m from, where the general sentiment is “tro inte att du är nåt”, which can be translated to “don’t think you’re something special”.
All small towns are the same.

Anyway. This book is about fifteen-year-old D.J. Schwenk, whose family runs a dairy farm, but they’re also really into football, except for D.J., who is a girl, so obviously she can’t play. So, when her dad hurts his hip she’s the only one who can take care of everything because all her brothers are busy playing, and there’s also a huge rift between her dad and two older brothers, so they’re not coming home anymore.
And then a guy from the next town over is sent to her by her fake-uncle who is a football coach, and they start playing together between the endless farm chores. And then D.J. gets the idea that she can do this too, except that there are numerous obstacles in the way.
In short, there is a lot of football talk, and halfway through the book I found myself going to Wikipedia to look it up, because I wanted to figure out what each of the positions do on the field. In Swedish the word for “defender” is “back”, so the terms “quarter back” and “line back” really confused me.
The best part about it, though, is not the football. It’s how distinct D.J.’s voice is. They’ve kept some of the things that redneck people (for lack of a better term) often say, while tossing some of the more annoying expressions of theirs, and it’s very much… teenage speak.
A small excerpt in case you’re still not convinced:
Now. Let me first of all say that I am not completely unfamiliar with trash talk. For one thing I play basketball with Amber Schneider, who can make a point when she wants to. And I know how rough it can get on the football field. From the stories Bill tells, I’m surprised fights don’t break out all the time. And I know all about getting patted on the butt. Heck, if Dad squeezed Mom like that she’d act like he’d given her flowers. You watch pro ball and those guys spend so much time with their hands on each other’s rear ends, you’d think they were feeling for diamonds or something.
THE WHOLE BOOK IS LIKE THAT.
Seriously, if you read one book this year, this should be it.
Oct
Unreliable and unusual narrating
by Kaia in 2009
The best thing about writing as much as I do right now is that you start reading books in a completely different manner. I think I first realised it when I was reading Tamora Pierce’s Protector of the Small Quartet (also, I can’t figure out if it’s actually a quartet of books called Protector of the Small, or if it’s a quartet of books called Protector of the Small Quartet, and it’s making me twitch). At some point through the third book (I think) a character is killed off and I remember thinking “Wait, what, she killed him off? There better be a good plot reason for that, or it’s just stupid.”
Sadly I have to report that I am still only halfway through the fourth book, so I have no idea if there was a plot reason or if it was a not so great decision in an otherwise pretty damn awesome series of books.
Reading becomes something very different once you use it to see how other writers create characters, how they describe them, how they write dialogue and how they create plot. It’s quite interesting, and I am now unable to read books without taking note of these things. (I also love taking note of editing mistakes, and once noticed that a minor character changed name halfway through a book, from Natalie to Natasha, or possible the other way around, something both the author and the editor had missed.)
One of the things that I find fascinating is unusual forms of narrating. This doesn’t only go for books, I am also a total sucker for movies that consist of cut up pieces that don’t make sense until you’ve seen the whole thing. Or should I say “used to be”? I can’t concentrate on the screen long enough to watch anything over 20 minutes anymore, and mostly find TV to be noise, and not background noise, like music, but grating, screeching, agonising noise that makes me want to kill someone.
Which means that the only TV I watch is The Guild (google it, it’s five minute episodes about a group of role players, featuring Felicia Day and occasionally Wil Wheaton, who apparently got sneakily hot) and How I Met Your Mother. The latter I like just because of the unreliable narrator. An excellent example is this one, although I have to say that I’m sad that I couldn’t find a clip of the episode where he constantly replaces “smoking pot” with “eating a really big sandwich”.
I don’t even own a TV anymore (in fact, I just had a very interesting conversation with Radiotjänst, trying to cancel my TV-license, to which they were very skeptical and ended up wanting to send a person to control that I really don’t have a TV, after asking me repeatedly “but how do you watch TV, then?”), so let’s return to books, shall we?

A while ago I read this awesome blog post with Sarah Rees Brennan. She is the author of the lovely YA urban fantasy novel The Demon’s Lexicon, and her main character is very different from many books that you read about. Far from all, I have to say, since people are writing more and more books which deviate from the usual pattern of the curious narrator who needs every step of every day explained to him (so that the reader knows what’s going on), but okay. Bear with me here.
Nick in The Demon’s Lexicon is nothing like that, which makes for a very awesome book indeed. He’s the sort of boy who keeps his swords under the sink, is no stranger to dumping a body in the river before going home to eat dinner, is constantly annoyed that people talk so much, hates explaining stuff to the newbie hanger-ons that him and his brother acquires and is basically… um, unpleasant. (And disturbingly hot, obviously, as dark, broody boys tend to be, but I think that goes without saying.)
In the blog post I mentioned above Sarah (who I don’t know, but damn, her name is long, so here I go first-naming her anyway) says the following, which made me giggle like a maniac:
High fantasy and urban fantasy and paranormal romance and all the slip-sliding books in between, he’s there: tall, dark, silent and surly, knowing a lot more about everything that’s going on than the hapless protagonist and usually, since to live in a genre novel is to live in interesting times, excellent with any weapon to hand.
He’s become so popular that he’s been watered down: mad, bad and dangerous to know becoming ‘Seems a little mean at first, but on the look-out for love: particularly enjoys long walks on the beach and talking about his feelings!’ On my four hundredth go-round with a book involving Mr Tall, Dark and Diet I thought to myself that someone should bring the original undiluted version back, and really think about what made him compelling and made him tick. And that we shouldn’t be seeing it from the point of view of a girl much taken with the muscular thighs and meanness, or a guy haplessly protagonisting behind Mr Tall and Dark’s sword, but from inside the head of That Guy, to see what he was thinking.
Besides ‘why does everyone else talk so much,’ I mean.
And that post pretty much sums up her writing, both in her books and her blog, by the way. Should you need another blog in your endless RSS feed.
In short, Nick is an interesting narrator, and after reading that one, I have been on a pretty much constant search for more books with quirky, unusual or just inventive sort of narration. So, I’ve been waiting and waiting and WAITING for the publishing of Liar by Justine Larbalestier, which I finally received in the mail a few weeks ago.
There was drama before it came out, because of the whitewashing of the cover, but it has pretty much died down by now. It’s an interesting read though, and I believe I’ve written about it before. At least once.
Anyway.
Micah is a liar. She lies about everything, just because she can. On the very first page she says: “I will tell you my story and I will tell it straight. No lies. No omissions. That’s my promise. This time I truly mean it.”, which pretty much says it all.
I think we’ve all known a teenager like that, and while some seem to find Micah unpleasant, she makes my heart hurt because she reminds me of somebody I used to know.
The whole book is written under the assumption that you cannot trust a word that Micah says, and yet you find yourself believe what she says, over and over and over. Until she starts to admit what wasn’t true. What she’d made up. And even then you can’t be sure that she did lie about that or if she’s just lying about lying.
It’s so very interesting to read, and what’s even more interesting is the spoiler thread over at Justine’s blog. Do not read it unless you’ve read the book, you will regret it, but once you have… go over there and read the theories. They are almost as interesting as the book itself.
I’m not sure if I would have enjoyed these two books as much, had I not been reading them from the point of view of a writer, but as it is I loved the hell out of both of them. And people need to read them already (especially Liar!) so I have somebody to discuss them with. Seriously.
Aug
My Sister, My Love
by Kaia in 2009

A few weeks ago I picked this book up on a whim. I really didn’t plan on buying it, as I have in the past, found Joyce Carol Oates to be a really fucking weird author, but it sounded really interesting and was cheap-ish.
First of all I can state that this book is of her usual surreal style, it’s not an easy read and the story? It follows a fairly standard script. There aren’t many surprises, that is to say that you go “could there be…” and then “no, way, that’s unlikely”, back and forth for 400 pages and in the end the wrap up is your initial gut feeling after all. Predictable or not, I was so fascinated by the narrator that I didn’t mind much.
The book tells the story of Bliss Rampike, a fictional child prodigy ice skater who is found dead in the furnace room of her house, six years old. The story is told by her three years older brother, Skyler, and Oates has on purpose littered the text with a) footnotes with meta-ish notes, b) occasional misspelled words, most commonly latin phrases that are unsed incorrectly and c) made sure that the storyline is told in a vague, back-and-forth, amateur-ish manner, giving us information that we really didn’t need.
It is of course a satire of the very well known case of JonBenet Ramsey, the child beauty queen, and often the similarities are a bit too close; their last name is Rampike, not Ramsey, their mother is named Betsy, not Patsy, etc. But more than that it is a satire of the suburbian upper middle class, of the republican male using fancy words in the wrong manner, of the mental health care that puts you on meds you don’t need to keep you docile and agreeable, of parents wanting the best for their children and going so very wrong.
The story hurts to read; it talks about how unhappy Bliss (who, by the way, was named Edna Louise, but had her name changed to a more “showbiz like” name at age four although Mummy insisted it was a vision from God that told her the new name – it broke my heart when she admitted to Skyler that she had named her favourite doll Edna Louise instead) is when she isn’t skating, like she has somehow forgotten how to play. It talks about the make-up she has to wear because she’s not all that pretty underneath it all, how she isn’t allowed to suck her thumb in public, how she has “fantim” pains despite there being nothing wrong with her leg, how much trouble she gets in because she keeps wetting her bed, and so on. And nobody ever thinks that there may be a reason why she acts like a much younger child than she really is, wondering why she has these mysterious pains and has to wake Skyler nearly every night to help her change the sheets because she’s afraid of Mummy finding out.
The narrative voice is very distinctive and fascinating. It shows that it’s, to start, a small child’s narration, but a very intelligent and mature one, for his age, and is unlike anything I’ve read before. As the book progresses and Skyler becomes a teenager and later an adult, the voice changes slgihtly, to show how he changes.
A small(ish) quote to illustrate how it was when Skyler was nine years old:
Bliss consents, but with a shivery little wince detectable only by sharp-Mummy-eyes; as Bliss consents to being hugged, cuddled, lifted in arms, “smooched” by Harry Fenn himself. Yet Mummy senses how reluctant Bliss is to please Mummy’s guests, Mummy does not like this (secret, surreptitious) little core of her daughter’s resistance (like bone-marrow cancer, invisible to the unsuspecting eye) as Mummy DOES NOT LIKE Bliss removing the plastic “bite” from her mouth during the night and hiding it beneath her pillow or worse yet – as if Mummy wouldn’t know, for Mummy has continuous acess to her daughter through the nursery door-in-the-wall opening into Mummy and Daddy’s bedroom – tossed beneat her bed. “Bliss: take care, sweetie, hmm?” (Just a light warning, disguised by a Mummy-kiss, and a Mummy-adjusting of the zebra-stripe-bodice.)
The footnotes are a constant, sometimes several per page. It’s kind of annoying and fascinating at the same time. About three quarters through the book this gets an explanation, which is simply that Skyler believes that he is no more than a footnote on a page where Bliss is the story itself. And in addition there is little meta-comments in the text like:
(insert big plot development I shall not reveal)
… and so I will see what I can do to achieve this. For truly, for all of my post-modernist cynicism I want this document to to turn out “heart-warming” – “truly inspiring! and not “the longest God-damned suicide note in the history of the English lanugage”.*
*"Longest suicide note on record" is Will & Testement (sic) by the minor American poet V. Westgaard (1841-73), an astonishing 999 handwritten pages. Reader, I am not able to match this.
I can’t even decide if I like this book. I am fascinated by it, and it’s truly unlike anything else I’ve read, but it’s also a really hard read and… well, very meta. The thing that annoys the HELL out of me with it? The fact that it’s an American book about an American boy, published in Britain, but the only word that has been British-ified is “Mummy”. Other than that it is all “neigbor”, “trunk”, “favorite”, etc.
So why, oh why, is it “Mummy”? I have no answer. But this book must be read, if only for the techniques used to create the voice of Skyler. I don’t think a less known author would have been allowed to publish a work this riddled with mistakes in spelling and grammar, not to mention this vague and back-and-forth-y, but I’m glad that it was printed as is.
Read it!
May
Not a waste of time
by Kaia in pre-2000

I was sixteen years old when I wrote my first piece of fanfiction. I had read this really amazing YA book called Chartbreak (the link goes to a very extensive preview) by Gillian Cross, and I want to state for the record that my cover looks nothing like this one, and I find it a bit creepy, because the person on it looks to be like forty years old.
It’s about sixteen-year-old Janis Mary Finch. She’s tall and built and describes herself as having the face of a boxer and old ladies crossing the street rather than coming face to face with her. All she has is her hair, long and curly, and her voice, that nobody knows about. Until a band finds her. She tells the story of their breakthrough, a long and intricate story that ends up nothing like you expect it to; the lead singer parks her in a spare bedroom of his mother’s house rather than with the rest of the band, and she ends up spending far too much time having tea with the mum, who is a very nervous older woman who always tries to milk her for information about her son, and very little actually singing. The first thing the lead of the band, Christie Joyce, does is making sure she gets her hair – the only thing she likes about herself – chopped off.
Finch, as she’s called, has a very vivid, descriptive narrative voice, that I completely fell in love with. For example she describes one of the blokes in the band as the type that has acne simply to annoy the fuck out of people, and Cross paints a picture of a girl that – six feet tall – is quite uncomfortable with her size, her looks, everything. Christie Joyce takes away the last bit of confidence by ordering a barber to cut her hair, and on top of it he won’t let her sing until the time is right, and she’s pissed the hell off.
When I read the book back then I was amazed by the strength in it, and how confident she was, but reading a review of it now, I find that it says: “She meets the unknown rock band, Kelp, and finds herself being pushed by Christie, Kelp’s arrogant lead singer, into singing with them, and winds her up into a fever of rage, awe, and attraction. Janis feels powerless to refuse, and her life explodes.”
I really want to read it again and see if I remember it right, or if it’s more like the review says.
It’s a great book with a great ending, but at sixteen I was outraged that there wasn’t even a kiss in it. In fact, the book ends with a public power play – Finch takes the one thing Christie cares about and threatens to smash it to pieces on stage, where he can’t stop her – and the most you get in terms of love? Hand holding.
Which, obviously, in the eyes of a sixteen-year-old, was Not Okay. So, unable to get the book out of my head I sat in math class, writing the next chapter in tiny, tiny letters (so that the girl to my left couldn’t read it) on graph paper. I only got about three chapters done before I got stuck with the story, but I still remember the book and how much I loved it.
Years and years later I sort of slipped into fandom. Most big TV series/movies/books/etc has one; a lot of the time they consist largely of fics, net speak and random flailing about people’s relative attractiveness. For those that don’t know, so called fanfiction is taking somebody else’s characters and universe and write them like you want them to be, telling stories that weren’t in the books or telling the story from of a different point of view.
There are many good ways to do it, and even more bad. And yes, to find the quality fics you have to wade through pages of not so great stuff. Still, it encourages people that wouldn’t otherwise write to express themselves and tell stories. That is a very good thing in my book.
So yeah, a few years after that first fic, of sorts, I took another stab on it, because I fucking hated the epilogue of the last Harry Potter book. It was the first writing I did in a very long time, and I probably wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t used JKR’s universe as a stepping stone. I have since graduated to my own characters, but I am very aware of that I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t found my way back through fandom.
What makes me the happiest is finding the people who used to write fanfiction, but that has managed to turn it into something more. One of these people is Sarah Rees Brennan. I’m told her take on JKR’s characters is absolutely amazing, but I haven’t had a time to read them yet. With that said, it’s now only ten days until her novel The Demon’s Lexicon comes out.
That causes some of us to squee far more than what it should.
I seem to have lost the train of thought. But yes. Fanfic? Can lead to good things. Obviously. As long as you don’t go nuts with it, I am all for it. And really, I am glad that I did try it. Even if I these days prefer to write my own stuff; I get frustrated with the limiations, and more than that, that I start relying on other people’s comments on my work. Writing for myself is better in every which way, but somewhere, far, far away the sixteen-year-old without a computer at home (I know, it was the Middle Ages, I had a typewriter instead), scribbling the first kiss of Christie and Finch in her math notebook while her teacher attempted to, um, teach her something or other, I’m sure, is bouncing all over the place.
Because writing that wasn’t stealing, after all. It was homage. In a manner of speaking.